Happy happy joy joy!

Its a new day... a new dawn... a new LIFE for me!

Hello everyone! I know it's been awhile, but I'm back! I've been incredibly busy since my last post, and I have some fantastic news:

• I completed my Mortgage Brokers assignment and passed! (Only one OPEN-BOOK exam to go!!)
• The dealership I work for was awarded DEALER OF THE YEAR 2011!!
• I GOT THE NEW JOB!! =D

As you can probably tell by my excessive capitalisations and exclamation marks, I'm pretty f*@&!^> excited!! It's actually my last day at the Dealership today, and to find out that we have won the Dealer of the Year award has put me in a very good mood. I'm so proud to have been a part of the team! I'm sad to leave - the boys were really good to work with - but the time for me to move on has come. As I may have mentioned before, 2012 is going to be a tough year, but it is going to be MY YEAR and I'm working my butt off to make sure magic happens for me!

I start my new job on Monday for a Salary Packaging company in the city. This is fantastic news for me because it's closer to home and the working  hours are so much better than what I'm currently on. Currently, I work just about every weekend and am only entitled to six days off a month (half of which usually finds me working from home anyway!) With the new job I'll be working Monday to Friday 8:30am to 5:30pm... there will be the occasional late shift and half day Saturday, but the shifts are on a rotation basis, which I am absolutely stoked to hear! After almost two-years in the motor industry, the new roster sounds like a holiday! PLUS - the new job is just a 20-30 minute bus ride from home. Farewell, to an hour-long drive into work through stop-start traffic! Welcome back my life!!

In other news, I've been keeping well. I've been seeing my Personal Trainer consistently week after week and have been hitting the gym regularly in between. The physical exercise is keeping me sane, energised and focused and I am starting to see some real results. My whole body is toning up, my strength is increasing, and my confidence is building! I haven't felt this good for years, and I don't understand why I ever gave up on exercise. The good news is I will never give up on it again - these endorphins are just too damn good to give up :)

I think I'm looking and feeling pretty good! :)

I've also chopped my hair off again - I got sick of sticking through the mullet stage of growing it out!

I hope you are all well!!

xoxo Mich :)

So... it's been awhile!

Just a quick post to let you know that this blog is not dead - I have just been incredibly busy! Perhaps not work wise (it's been DEAD QUIET and I have been tearing my hair out in frustration!), but I've had other things occupying my time such as: 

• A trip back to Perth for a week to visit friends and family
• Catching up for drinks with someone I met on New Years
• Drafting my two year plan
• Attending the Heatwave Festival
• Updating my resume and applying for new jobs...
• Phone Interview! - YAY!! (Interview next week - DOUBLE YAY!! =D )
• Madly trying to complete my Mortgage Brokers assignment.... which is just over half done and is due on Monday. Oops!

So before I procrastinate any further, I leave you with this, my motto for the next two years...

http://maishabuble.tumblr.com/post/13330185572/it-will-hurt-it-will-take-time-it-will-require

I'll be back to regular posting on Monday (fingers crossed!!)

x Mich

Messy Smashmas

So Christmas has come and gone... and whilst I don't really believe in it, I do believe in having a few drinks.... and so this year, I renamed the day "Smashmas!!".

On "Smashmas Eve", I cooked a beautiful roast chicken to enjoy with my friend Eve, who was down from Brisbane. It was my first attempt, and it turned out perfectly, if I do say so myself!

On "Smashmas Day" day, the weather was absolutely beautiful for a change, and the gorgeous sun was out in force.

I spent the day down near the beach with a few other 'orphaned' friends and we ate, drank, dipped in the ocean, and most importantly, laughed!!

The boys

The 'Tipsy' Tree

The highlight of the day for me was seeing Ben, a Scotsman who'd only been in Australia for a few months, enter the ocean for the first time. Upon realising how cold the water was, he started to tiptoe into the ocean.... which was funny in itself. Once he was waist deep in, a massive wave started moving towards him.... and I have to say that seeing the look of pure horror on his face, while he turned around and tried to RUN from this wave, only to get dumped, was probably the most hilarious thing I have seen all year!

I hope you all had a lovely day as well :)

x Mich

I love Coogee!

With all the events of the last couple of weeks, I've failed to mention that I moved apartments. I must say, I truly DESPISE moving. I counted up the number of times I've moved, and in the last eight years I have moved a total of 10 - yes, you read that right - 10 times!! 10 times through three different states... Western Australia, Victoria and New South Wales... and that number doesn't include the handful of times I've crashed on someone's couch whilst looking for somewhere 'permanent' to live. Crazy? Most certainly! But hopefully this is the last move for quite some time....

So where did I move to? Well I've actually stayed in Coogee, but I've moved much closer to the beach. My apartment is on a high level, and I am extremely blessed to be greeted with 180 degree views of Coogee beach and the ocean! It is truly a spectacular sight, and seeing the ocean everyday seems to calm something within me.

Coogee Beach and the Bay

Wedding Cake Island...you can sort of see it!

These photo's were taken on my new iPhone 4 - my insurance claim finally came through! It's a shame that I couldn't get a 4s.... but oh well! I'm so glad to be part of the digital world again lol :)

Now - if only the weather would clear up and some sun would shine through - these pictures (and the cloudy outlook) simply do not do the view justice! Honestly Sydney - why have you become like Melbourne all of a sudden? There's a reason why I'm here and not there.... so brighten up, stat!! :)

x Mich

Nickelback

http://data.liveguide.com.au.s3.amazonaws.com/newsandreviews/nickelback.jpg

I have been a huge fan of Nickelback ever since they released their album 'Silver Side Up' in my senior year of highschool. I love how their songs can range from dynamic rock anthems to powerful love ballads, and their lyrics have always stuck a chord with me.
OK - I know not everyone likes Nickelback, and many have criticised the band for being misogynistic, but I personally take some of their lyrics to be tongue in cheek - some people need to loosen up and gain a sense of humour! :)
I recently purchased their latest album from iTunes the other day, titled 'Here and Now', and there is one song that has struck a particular chord with me - 'Trying Not to Love You'. I have shared the lyrics of this song below, taken from http://www.metrolyrics.com

NICKELBACK - TRYING NOT TO LOVE YOU 
(V1)You call to me, and I fall at your feetHow could anyone ask for more?And our time apart, like knives in my heartHow could anyone ask for more?

(Chorus)But if there's a pill to help me forget,God knows I haven't found it yetBut I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so farTrying not to need you, is tearing me apartCan't see the silver lining, from down here on the floorAnd I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for'Cause trying not to love youOnly makes me love you moreOnly makes me love you more

(V2)And this kind of pain, only time takes awayThat's why it's harder to let you goAnd nothing I can do, without thinking of youThat's why it's harder to let you go

(Chorus)But if there's a pill to help me forget,God knows I haven't found it yetBut I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so farTrying not to need you, is tearing me apartCan't see the silver lining, from down here on the floorAnd I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for'Cause trying not to love youOnly makes me love you more

(Bridge)So I sit here divided, just talking to myselfWas it something that I did?Was there somebody else?When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tearsSat right down beside me, and whispered right in my earTonight I'm dying to tell you

That trying not to love you, only went so farTrying not to need you, was tearing me apartNow I see the silver lining, from what we're fighting forAnd if we just keep on trying, we could be much more'Cause trying not to love youOh, yeah, trying not to love youOnly makes me love you moreOnly makes me love you more

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/trying-not-to-love-you-lyrics-nickelback.html ]

Copied from MetroLyrics.com 

What resonates with me is:

But if there's a pill to help me forget,God knows I haven't found it yetBut I'm dying to, God I'm trying to

And this kind of pain, only time takes awayThat's why it's harder to let you goAnd nothing I can do, without thinking of youThat's why it's harder to let you go
I'm looking forward to six months from now, when the pain will have lessened, if not completely dissappeared. Either that, or someone invents that magic pill! It's sad that I'm wishing time away though, isn't it?
I am a lot stronger though, despite the mood of this post. But the healing process takes time, and I'm allowing myself that time. I cannot rush this. I cannot dull what I am feeling. I cannot be on a time frame determined by others as to when I 'should be better by'.

They say that a journey starts with just one step. I have done that, and have to continue taking each day as it comes.

x Mich

Surviving

It's been a little while since my last post, but considering the events of the last few weeks I think it's understandable. It's been hard for me to make a return, but I'm here. I may feel hollow, as if something significant has died inside, but I'm still here. I'm still alive, and I am surviving.

I think I'm still in shock, to be honest. I didn't see this coming. I thought he was happy with us. Which in hindsight is kind of stupid, because while he was living on the Gold Coast I was still in Sydney, and I knew he wasn't in a happy place. But I truly thought he was getting better. I was busy planing to move up there to be with him.We were planning overseas trips. I was happy. I didn't realise he wasn't anymore.

This really isn't easy for me. I love Shaine more than anything. And it's absolutely gut wrenching to know that the future that you had planned is no longer there.  But if someone doesn't love you back, what can you do? If you truly love someone, you have to let them go. And I truly do love him. So I have to let him go.

The first few days were really hard. I tried to keep myself busy - I went to the beach to tan and go for a walk, and I caught up with a friend and met a few new people and went out to Ivy (where we subsequently got kicked out - arguing with the bouncer is never a good idea, but that's a story for another time), but I mainly stayed at home. While seeing people did help, the fact of the matter is when it got to 1am I was crying because I'm over getting drunk and going out and I wanted to go home to Shaine. I tried to go to work, but I couldn't concentrate.

I'm back at work now. I suppose I could say I'm feeling a little bit better, but it's mainly because I'm not crying anymore. I actually wish I could cry - all I feel is a pain in my chest that I wish I could release. I flit between feeling that or numbness. Since I can't release the pain, or I'm finding myself numb, I'm throwing myself into my Mortgage Brokers course. It's taking my mind off things and giving me something to look forward to.

I'm not going to move home to Perth. I think that a lot of people expect me to. But I don't want to, and I wont. Although I am fairly isolated here in Sydney, I do enjoy my job and I get paid well. I'm going to stay here for at least the next 12 months and start looking after me. I'm going to throw myself into my work and my study, and finally pay off my debt and save up some money. Eventually I will become a Mortgage Broker, travel overseas, get the breast enlargement surgery I've always wanted (shhh), and buy a home.

I don't know what else to say. I guess I'll write another post when I do.

x Mich

Heartbroken

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"If you love something set it free; if it returns, it's yours forever; if not it was never meant to be." - Anonymous

I'll always love you Shaine.

x Mich